Introduction to the Book

The World has known some incredible lovers; Casanova, Romeo, the Marquis De Sade and Joe Meekly of 22 Waverley Pace, Crompton. These great heroes of the mattress had several things in common; they were wild romantics, prepared to overcome any obstacle in pursuit of love, willing to fight and die in love’s dark shadow. But most men don’t want the inconvenience of love and romance – they certainly don’t want to let it get in the way of Pulling a chick. What Mr Average Lazy Sod wants is a sure fire chat-up line that will get him some shag-muffin for a few weeks amusement before he moves on to the next chick. There must be no soppy romance. No awkward commitment. And most definitely no effort. Sadly, there is no simple formula to achieve this. However, this little book will show you how to Pull with minimum effort and inconvenience. It will teach you what to say and what not to say. Tell you what to do and what not to do. Show you where you’ll find hot Tottie and where you’ll only find Brussels sprouts. Short of me going out and Pulling for you, it’s the best you’re going to get.

This book is dedicated to the 11,742 wonderful lovers I would have had if only this book had been available when I was a lad.

Contents

Introduction & Definitions

Why Pull?

Knowing your limits

What are girls looking for?

Meeting places

Psychology of the Pull

Stalking your prey

Body language

How to Pull

Infallible chat-up lines

Right and wrong ways to chat up a prospect

Responding to rejection

Arranging the first date

Where to take her

Topics of conversation

Creating the right impression

Forms of contraception

Breaking up

Pulling quiz

Agony aunt

What are girls looking for?

Most men make the mistake of thinking that the Pulling Game is one sided and men are the only hunters. This is far from true – women have their fantasies and desires too – but a woman wants her prince charming to sweep her off her feet and whisk her away to his fairy-tale castle where they’ll live happily-ever-after. Which is sad really as most men are looking for a no-commitment shag in his semi-derelict flat. So, when women go man-hunting what are they after? My survey came up with a few surprises:

1) He must be; respectful, sensitive, compassionate, romantic, generous, devoted – and well hung.

2) His monthly income must exceed my monthly expenditure.

3) He must be able to make me laugh – with him, not at him.

4) He must wear blue tights, a red cape and be faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Body language

Body language is the subtle poetry of love. Before you take the brave step of actually approaching a Target, it’s vital to study her body language to find clues as to how she’ll respond to your advances.

Good Signs

She’s grooming her hair or adjusting her wig.

She’s staring straight at your lunch pack.

She’s running her tongue seductively across her lips, down her cleavage and onto her breasts.

She’s toying with her jewellery (a particularly strong signal if it’s her vaginal rings).

She’s slowly removing her thong.

If the Target is doing any one of these, make your move; if she’s doing 2 - call a taxi, 3 or more - just shag her there and then.

Bad Signs

She’s frantically pulling her hair out.

She’s rolling about the floor laughing – at you.

She’s throwing daggers at you . . . and they’re very sharp.

She’s having wild passionate sex - with a donkey.

She’s picking her nose and flicking the snot at you.

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